Recently, at our small group meeting, during a lull in parenting war stories, one of the couples announced that they are expecting their first child. As one of the last members of the group to embark on the journey of parenting, they accepted our congratulations with something of a shell-shocked expression, possessed no doubt by the vauge suspicion that their lives a being hurtled into a realm unknown.
Congratulations! I always, (or at leaste after I became a parent) thought this was an odd and inadaquate sentiment for the scope of the situation. But then, what else do you say? Congratulations! You now get to push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a pea; though lucky for you it will stretch to the size of a grapefruit first, for the reward of....sleeping, and doing just about everything else, in windows of 2 hours or less. You will develop new skill sets, such as clipping fingernails on someone who is flailing wildly, and expand your knowledge base to become an expert on things including but not limited to: poop frequency and consistancy, cry type distinguishment, and soothing methods, and just when you have it figured out, it will change and you will once again know nothing. Yet, with all this will come a love that you can not now fathom, that will make all this rewarding and interesting, and will prevent you from wanting to throttle the little sleep disturber the way you would anyone else who woke you up every 2 hours.
Congratulations! You will be trading in your spontaneity, any semblance of abdominal musculature you now have, and many other parts of yourself, for things like a profound glimpse into God's love for us, the grace to endure things you never thought possible, and the discipline of selflessness.
Congratulations! It's true, right? But it's sort of like saying, "God is good." It just totally misses the epic scope of the reality.
After I had Morgan, I remember thinking, "Congratulations? Of all the wealth of things you could have said to give me an incling of what was comming, you, ALL OF YOU, chose congratulations? Thanks a load."
Isn't there something we could come up with that would say more? Brace yourself, perhaps? But no, that fails to express the sheer wonder of it all. In the end, congratulations is, I suppose, as good as anything, because there are no words big enough to embrace motherhood. If you've already been there, you know what I mean, and if you haven't, you wouldn't understand even if I told you... but you will, soon. Congratulations, welcome to the club.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Of Eggplant and Will
This weekend, an intense battle was waged at the Taylor household; a battle over...eggplant.
Our church has been talking about our health and how it relates to who God wants us to be, so I thought I would introduce more vegis into the family meals. I found a recipe for eggplant parmigiana that looked good (though it involved batter and frying, and turned out not to be all that healthy), and we tried it...that is except for one of us, who refused to try it.
Now my husband, who is usually the wishy washy half, looked this one of us in the eye and said, " You need to try this eggplant. Take a couple bites, and you can get down, BUT if you do not try it, you will eat this square of eggplant until it is gone. You will be served it, and only it for every meal until you have eaten it all. Do you understand?" After a sweet nod and a repetition of what would be expected of her, she got down and went on her merry way, no doubt feeling she was getting away with something.
The next day, my loving husband went to work, and left me to play enforcer. Each mealtime, she was served the eggplant, sat in her booster and reguarded it will disgust for a while, and then opted to get down. By the end of the day, she had totalled 3 bites.
Now, my daughter has many traits that I don't relate to, but stubborness, I get. I must admit that I was surprised, and secretly a little proud of how long she held out. She would complain that her tummy hurt, and I would explain that when we make decisions, we have to live with their results.
We took quite a bit of critisism for our choice to let her suffer through: my mother-in-law called us nazis (lovingly I'm sure), a friend said I was using my position to bully my daughter and show her who was in power, and my mother suggested we back down, because, after all, she tried it, right? I suspect that these well meaning people think that this is about ....eggplant, but no. I do want my daughter to know that we mean what we say and we will follow through. In this house, mama doesn't bluff, and if I did, a four year old would be wearing the proverbial pants, but mostly, like I said before, this is a corner of my daughter's heart that I understand. She has been gifted an intellegence and will that, if harnessed, can help her do great things for the Kingdom of God, but if left unchecked will be used to manipulate things into her own way. Understanding the weight of her personal choices, and that sometimes we have to do things we would rather not, is paramount for her. It is a battle I know we will be guiding her through in many guises for a long time to come. I'm glad that we have the opportunity to start with eggplant where the stakes are small.
She came to my bed the next morinng in tears because she had
thrown up in her bed because of her empty stomach. It wasn't easy to hold firm then, but we sat her down to the breakfast table with a cup of 7up, a saltine, and her many times reheated sqare of eggplant, and she ate it all gone, and then, do you know what she said?
"That wasn't really all that bad."
Our church has been talking about our health and how it relates to who God wants us to be, so I thought I would introduce more vegis into the family meals. I found a recipe for eggplant parmigiana that looked good (though it involved batter and frying, and turned out not to be all that healthy), and we tried it...that is except for one of us, who refused to try it.
Now my husband, who is usually the wishy washy half, looked this one of us in the eye and said, " You need to try this eggplant. Take a couple bites, and you can get down, BUT if you do not try it, you will eat this square of eggplant until it is gone. You will be served it, and only it for every meal until you have eaten it all. Do you understand?" After a sweet nod and a repetition of what would be expected of her, she got down and went on her merry way, no doubt feeling she was getting away with something.
The next day, my loving husband went to work, and left me to play enforcer. Each mealtime, she was served the eggplant, sat in her booster and reguarded it will disgust for a while, and then opted to get down. By the end of the day, she had totalled 3 bites.
Now, my daughter has many traits that I don't relate to, but stubborness, I get. I must admit that I was surprised, and secretly a little proud of how long she held out. She would complain that her tummy hurt, and I would explain that when we make decisions, we have to live with their results.
We took quite a bit of critisism for our choice to let her suffer through: my mother-in-law called us nazis (lovingly I'm sure), a friend said I was using my position to bully my daughter and show her who was in power, and my mother suggested we back down, because, after all, she tried it, right? I suspect that these well meaning people think that this is about ....eggplant, but no. I do want my daughter to know that we mean what we say and we will follow through. In this house, mama doesn't bluff, and if I did, a four year old would be wearing the proverbial pants, but mostly, like I said before, this is a corner of my daughter's heart that I understand. She has been gifted an intellegence and will that, if harnessed, can help her do great things for the Kingdom of God, but if left unchecked will be used to manipulate things into her own way. Understanding the weight of her personal choices, and that sometimes we have to do things we would rather not, is paramount for her. It is a battle I know we will be guiding her through in many guises for a long time to come. I'm glad that we have the opportunity to start with eggplant where the stakes are small.
She came to my bed the next morinng in tears because she had
thrown up in her bed because of her empty stomach. It wasn't easy to hold firm then, but we sat her down to the breakfast table with a cup of 7up, a saltine, and her many times reheated sqare of eggplant, and she ate it all gone, and then, do you know what she said?
"That wasn't really all that bad."
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