A couple of weeks ago, Morgan missed the bus. We live like 2 minutes from the school; taking her definitely would have been the easier thing, but after an internal battle, I decided to allow her to learn from the consequences of dawdling. It was hard to watch her weep and wail and want to go to school (but it's so cool that she likes school that much, right?). Believe me, I have codependent tendencies. I wanted to rescue her, like my lovely, caring friend that is always running her daughter her band instrument and who probably thinks I am a cold hearted Nazi mother, but I refrained.
After she was clam, I explained that I was not angry, and that she was not being punished: the simple consequence of missing your ride, is not going to the place your ride was headed. I explained that as a mom, it's my job to teach that things that are your responsibility will be taken responsibility for by you, not me. I explained that the consequence of missing one day out of 12 years of school is small, so small, but that the consequence of not learning to accept consequences for your actions as they get larger and more severe is huge. And at the end of the day, I considered that hard decision a mom win for both of us. I did the short term hard thing, for a long term investment in my child's charecter, and my daughter tried to see a situation from a perspective that was not her own. If only a glimpse, I think she understood that I see a future for her that she can't immediately perceive, and that I have that future in mind when I do things, even the ones she doesn't like. I responded firmly, but without anger, and we went on to have a day that included both work and fun.
Lord, please help us to be more often as we were on that day: me, firm but loving, and my children, willing to accept correction, and help all of us mama's to look down the long road when we have hard parenting choices in our path.
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