Be Still Part 2

This afternoon I stepped outside during naptime to talk to my mom, and I was joined by a little boy in mud boots and no pants who was supposed to be taking a nap. I let him stay. We blew bubbles, colored with sidewalk chalk, and watched the ducks, and it was like a balm for my soul. I have been so restless and out of sorts.  I am anxious all the time. My peace is missing. I have been craving caffeine and sugar and getting headaches. I need to do some recalibrating, a fasting of sorts, where I nourish my body and soul. I need to get off facebook....not because it sucks up time, because I'm always doing something else, it's just open, but because I am always divided and never focused. I need to plant seeds, read books, listen to my children with attentiveness, and be fully present in my own life. I have been spending time with God, but even that is interrupted. I am listless; I have lost my ability to be still.

I need to stop giving in to immediate relief, instead I need to pray, and exercise, and fuel my body. I need to drink deeply, but my well is dry, and I am disconnected from the spring.

I am learning that daily bread can be so many things. The energy you need to get through the day, the words you need in a tough situation, love when people are unlovable, grace for yourself when you aren't keeping it together, and right now, stillness of the soul, for which I have forgotten to depend on God. I have been busy of late, praying for others, and forgotten to ask for what I most need, and without which I am no use to anyone.

If you need me, I will be burrowed deep in my peaceful Soggybottom, hitting the reset button on my soul. I would love to hear your voice on the phone or see your face over coffee (or green tea, better yet), I would love to go for a walk with you.  I need to step away from the virtual half-life, for I am in need of real things, the feel of dirt on my hands, the sweat of a hard run, the belly laughter of children. I need to create space for these. I'll see you again soon reader, and I will be restored.