I have a secret, a secret that all believers know. God does offer proof; only he offers it AFTER we offer him our faith. Many times, I thought I would believe in Him, if only he offered me a sign, but He doesn't work that way....during His time on earth, he didn't even do miracles in his own home town. Why? Because, the people who knew him since he was a wee lad already had their minds made up about who he was.....you can't convince somebody who needs a sign. Jesus could have slapped me right up side the head (I believe he may have done that, actually), but I wasn't ready to listen, and I wouldn't have know his sign from a hole in the wall. People who are not ready to receive the Holy Spirit will not respond to a persuasive logical argument, a miracle, a sign, a slap upside the head; it is only people in whom the Holy Spirit is at work that can see and accept miracles.
I began as a zombie Christian. I knew who Jesus was, I knew what He'd done, at times in my life I think I believed it was true, but I didn't get it, not really. I did not understand or accept the intimacy of what Christ had done for ME. I felt nothing. A zombie Christian is an intellectual believer...I can't know, but I suspect I am not the only one. A true believer responds to belief.....it's the difference between seeing the gift under the tree and unwrapping it....I don't really know what's in there until I hold it in my hand, open it up, accept it.
For many years, God pursued me. Invited me to know him, instead of just know of him. Everywhere I went, he sent me Christians who witnessed to me. They saw no progress, but they were seed people. I stored up the seeds the Spirit had given me in my heart, until He had prepared the soil. Here it is, the proof....I was in the dark. I am a selfish creature. I had made such a mess, that there was no way it could be made good again. On the inside, I could feel poison and despair, and I knew, there was no way I could be any different. This is who I was, deep down.
Some days I lose hope; I feel I'm not going forward, I feel stuck in sin, but then I look at where I was, and remember who I was, and I know beyond doubt, that I could not be where I am, without Jesus. I was in a pit that I could not crawl out of with my own power. I am not capable of being who I am now on my own. It simply was not doable. Only the power that He has in my life has given me the life I have today. I know it was Him, it couldn't have been me. He offered me this proof, after, friends, only after I opened the gift. He redeemed my mess and made something beautiful. Because of his work in me, I know, He is the real deal. And when I forget, he has a way of giving me little reminders, small proofs, like inside jokes, only He and I would recognize, because I whispered them to Him in secret. In His love, He proves himself to me again and again, because I already have faith, the same way he does many times throughout the bible.
Likewise, this post will not convince anyone who is unwilling to take a step in faith. If however, you are an unbeliever, take it as a seed, hang on to it for a rainy day, ponder it in your heart. "Evangelism is simply a beggar telling another beggar where he found bread." And if you are a believer, share one another's testimonies for a day when your own is so familiar and comfortable that you forget its power. Give Him your trust and tell Him your secrets; and see if He does not give them back to you in splendid and mysterious fruits.
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