Mommy blogger

I don't consistently read many blogs, but they're always there, on my news feed, "6 ways to serve your husband today!", or "How to create more peace in your home in 5 easy steps!".  Sometimes I click on them; they always contain sound biblical advice, but in the midst of , "Steve and I had a little tiff. I was angry, hey, I'm not perfect, haha, so I went to my room and had a little sit down with the Holy Spirit, and He told me, Marsha, you're just not edifying your husband when you act this way.  If you kissed him passionately when he walked in the door and met his needs first, and forgave him when you squabble, you wouldn't have this unwholesome sinful attitude, and I said, you know what HS, you're totally right, I'm going to go out there right now with a big smile, and apologize, and seduce my man in proper Christian housewife fashion, by golly.  Thanks for the chat." I get weary. That's an exaggeration, I know, and I do learn good stuff from those girls, but apparently, they are miles ahead of me on the quick repentance and turnaround scale.

Sometimes, I just want to hear one of these women say, "'After 10 years, for the love, you'd think that man could walk in the door, and see that look in my eye that indicates impending madness, and just say, 'Okay, mommy's going to retreat to the bathtub for a little timeout, daddy's got this', but due to the male inability to read subtle facial cues, said interception failed to occur, and mommy lost her um, composure, during dinner time and screamed disproportionately to the present transgression, like a lunatic." I mean,  I am I alone???? I just want someone else to get real, and say, just because you love Jesus doesn't mean you never break open at the seams, and fail to properly excuse yourself for a little chat with HS before things get ugly.  Sometimes it gets ugly and raw, even when you do love Jesus.

I want to serve my husband today! and create peace in my home as much as the next person, but there aren't five easy steps.  The steps are hard, and I get tired, and I just want to hear someone acknowledge that. Jesus gets me back on track.  He holds my marriage together when I'm so tired I could throw in the towel.  He brings me back when I think that I'm such a terrible mother that my children would be better of without me, but the hard days are still real.  They remind me of my need.  They bring me low before Jesus. They make me so thankful that I have him to mend me and know my heart. So from this mommy blogger to you: You're not alone, your ugly isn't worse than everyone else's. It isn't too much for Jesus.  You aren't the only one who gets tired, who doubts yourself, who just wants a break, or a sound proof room to scream in. We're in this together, and we've got Jesus, and bath tubs, and wine...we're gonna be ok.