Dear potential mama friends

Dear potential mama friends,

I'm (sort of) sorry my house is messy, but I'm tired.  I thought about rescheduling, but I genuinely like you, and since tired has been more or less my state of being for the last 9ish years, I'm not sure when we'd reschedule. So, in the interest of authenticity, we'll just skip that. Speaking of authenticity....I'm sort of a homebody, and while I like people, I don't have the time to invest in that many. I don't like wasting time, so inautheniticty just isn't something I do. I don't intend to offend you, but really, if I'm too weird for you, it's best to get it out in the open right away. I've already accepted the possibility that I'm so odd that I may have to wait until my daughters are grown to have friends. Don't ask me if I like your dress/opinion/hairdo, if you aren't prepared for the truth. I'm looking for a few Jesus girls to live life with, eat tacos, let each other in to our real moments( the beautiful and the gritty ones) and laugh till we snort, which is strange, because I'm not typically the laughing out loud sort, but I'd like to be...I'm working on it, the whole lightening up thing. I need some one who balances me out on that.

What I lack in levity, I make up for in honesty and loyalty, but if you need someone to grab coffee and get pedis with every week, I'm not your girl. I need someone who understands, that while I'll always have your back if you need me, and I value our time together, I'm an extroverted introvert, so there will be times I may not respond right away, because I just can't people right now.



Finding mom friends is a bit like hunting for sea glass on the beach, so many beautiful things, and most of them aren't what you're looking for. I am not meant to blend in; I'm a bit too artsy/intellectual for my strait laced conservative friends, and far too Christian conservative for my liberal leaning artsy/intellectual friends. It's difficult to find someone who gets the tightrope walk of loving Jesus and being devoted to your family and home, while maintaining your identity and your art, but when the connection is found...that spark of recognition of a kindred spirit, it's worth it. I'd rather have two pieces of sea glass than all the white sand on the beach. The companions that God has given me along the paths of my life have been among His greatest gifts.



I love music of all genres, reading, growing things, beauty of all kinds, dancing in my kitchen, critters, and working out.  I believe that friends should lift each other up and stretch one another, remind one another that behind the tired, there is an inspired strong woman, that friends should laugh and cry together and nourish one another; two souls who see one another's crazy hot mess and don't need perfection.


So, I see you mom on the park bench wondering if she's the only one, if she should start a conversation, or if that other mom will judge all your mom stuff...she looks so put together. We all have our days, mama, where we have our makeup fixed and our sunscreen and our snacks packed, and we look like we're not falling apart, but then, we all have our days when the seams burst, and our undone spills all over the playground, and we don't have any mosquito spray,  and every mama out there needs a me too, and if that isn't your piece of sea glass, it doesn't matter, because you have been kind.  There is never any harm in a hello. One day, if we are brave enough to keep saying hello, we will each find our little tribe of soul mamas, with whom we feel at home, that make us a little better every time we are together, and laugh with us when we fall apart, that see your hot mess and raise you a little crazy, and we will see that a little mess is nothing to be afraid of.